turing_incomplete | I am not an unimaginable thing

Hey guess who finally mustered up the courage to go to the Hearing Voices group

First of all, I apparently chose the week when all the regulars couldn't make it, so it was just me, the facilitator, and a guy who doesn't even have any weird experiences he's just a therapist (apparently the only such therapist allowed, lol)

Buuut I knew I was gonna get a lot of questions, so I was fine with it. :V (I hope that doesn't come off as too, idk, conceited?) Some initial talk about the history and philosophy of Hearing Voices Network stuff, which I wasn't sure to what degree to interrupt and say "Yo I've Got This." Then talk about the voice-hearing research, plus the research that we do, since after all we were all people with advanced degrees hah.

There was a bit of a "you don't seem autistic" comment there, but I'm trying not to let it bother me that much, because it was coming from a place of confusion over why someone like me would identify so baldly with a psychiatric label after talking about why DID doesn't fit us, which I 100% get. So, some talk about autism self-diagnosis and advocacy vs. other psychiatric categories, hah.

A lot of interest in just figuring out What Multiplicity Was About, of course, and how we navigated e.g. coming out to people, how we've interacted with psychologists, etc. It was kinda validating saying that we never told any therapist until a few years ago, and having people go "Geeze yeah, good call, probably not something that would've turned out well if you didn't already have a history of stable cooperation." Right?? Not with our family history, god.

There's something sorta amusing with going, "Yeah, we used to have a lot of arguments, a really angry insulting persecutory guy... and that persecutory guy... was me." I sensed a bit of an awkward stumble after them realizing I'm not "the Main Person", but lmao good that was the point. They immediately got curious about our switching patterns and how much control we have over it, loll.

I think it turned out good, though; I'm making it a Plan?? They expressed interest in having me talk especially how we got to such a cooperative place, that this is "the goal" for a lot of people (generally sans shared body control, ofc.) Which... man, I feel like we don't have the autobiographical memory to be able to answer that (and besides, we started from an alright place -- not that I wasn't an abusive ass, but I know we at least could joke sometimes, unlike most "persecutory voices" you hear about.)